Record

W: Fucker! Fucker! Die, motherfucker! Bye, bye! And every day is a good day to di-
C: Entire goddamn album to listen to and this is the song you pick.
W: What, these guys are good!
C: Yes, they're good, but just because they can make a decent album doesn't mean they can't pump out a piece-of-shit track.
W: Well fuck you, you get to drive and I pick the music. That's the deal.
C: It's kind of hard to keep focused on the road with you screaming 'die motherfucker die' at me. Play a different song. Play New American Century.
W: No. Fuck that self-righteous shit.
C: Dammit, man. We're on a job here. If there's somebody waiting on the other end, and we're blasting bloody murder out of the speakers, things won't turn out very well, will they?
W: Fine. What do you want me to play. Not New American Century.
C: How about Professional Killer?
W: Isn't that the one with the chick singing on it?
C: It's a good fucking song, alright!
W: ... you're right. It is a good song. I'll play it.


C: We're almost there.
W: Wait, so did Archie say if there were going to be people there?
C: ... Did you just call him Archie? Fucking Archie?
W: What. What's wrong with that?
C: For one, that's not his fucking name. Two, you can't fucking read, so there's no goddamn way you could have figured out that the 'kuh' sound in 'Archivist' is spelled with a c-h. So the question is, what gives?
W: ... It's what the Brute calls him.
C: Oh dear god, again with the fucking Brute. It's like you want to be his Mini-Me or something.
W: Oh fuck off.


C: Well, here we are.
W: Good surprise, there's no one here.
C: Well, he said there might not be. We've just gotta look around.
W: Fucking bullshit. They should be handing this over to us on a silver platter.
C: Fine, stay in the goddamn van. I'll look on my own.


C: Found it! Get over here!
W: Wowee, that is a fine looking box.
C: Help me open it.

W: Holy crap! This is awesome!
C: I must say, this is some pretty fine stuff.
W: Wait, so we keep all of this?
C: Some of it, at least. That's what the Head says. Something about 'strengthening relationships' or some bullshit like that.
W: Hey, look at me, I'm Scarface! 'Say hello to my little friend, you fucking cock-a-roaches!'
C: Don't point that fucking thing at me... fuck.
W: Shit, what just crawled up your ass and died?
C: Nothing. Let's just get this stuff in the van.


W: Okay, you cannot tell me nothing was going on back there.
C: Someone was supposed to meet us.
W: What? I thought you said we didn't know.
C: Did you happen to look up at any point? Into the fucking trees?
W: ... oh shit.
C: Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Head's gonna have to know about this.
W: Brute too, I guess... shit!








war is coming